List of Ridiculousness

Life Lessons with Tiffany Weimer

By: Tiffany Weimer

With a Forward by Tiffany Weimer

Forward

Warning: The following is mostly for fun. If you get offended by it or think I’m a piece of shit for writing it, I’m happy to sit down and have a conversation with you about life and the reasons I say things. Just let me know.

Chapter 1/1 Page 1/1 List 1/1

1. If something offends you, it usually means you’re not confident about it

2. Life is not like a box of chocolates… otherwise we’d all be obese

3. Multitasking might make us dumber… but it also gives us the perception of accomplishment, and sometimes that’s not a bad thing

4. If you’re trying to master something, make sure you watch it to see how it’s supposed to be done before you try to do it

5. Yoga is overrated

6. Scented candles are underrated

7. If you think about the past more than the present or the future, it usually means you’re not over it. Get over it.

8. Tell people how you feel about them. The worst they can do is laugh, which probably tells you all you need to know about them

9. Leaving things on your to-do list means you ain’t doing them.

10. Hangovers don’t have to be as bad as we make them. Drink water before you go to bed, idiots.

11. Being a good friend doesn’t mean you drink with your friends every weekend.

12. If you’re sad, it’s okay to be sad. If someone tells you not to be sad, punch them in the face. (Though that might make you more happy).

13. People always say your family is your rock. But they always forget to tell you how damn stressful they are too. Find your happy medium.

14. Eat whatever you want. The more you stress about food the more food will rule your life. Workout a little. Eat what you want. And don’t go crazy in the process.

15. Make fun of people. If you don’t have banter in your life, you’re missing a huge part. Don’t be too harsh. But make sure you’re funny.

16. Talk about “uncomfortable” things. If you talk about them, they’re not uncomfortable anymore. Diarrhea happens to everyone.

17. Yelling at the cars in front of you to go faster won’t make them go faster. Save your breath. Save your energy. You’ll get there when you get there.

18. Spend your money. You can’t take it with you when you’re gone. And if you’re broke, your parents will help you anyway, duh! It’s 2012!

19. If you are easily peer pressured, no one really likes you. They just know you’ll do what they want you to do. Be your own person. That’s what makes people like you.

20. If you’re sad, it’s okay to listen to Celine Dion and cry and eat ice cream. And if you’re happy, well that’s good then isn’t it?

21. Being proud only looks good to you.

22. Your friends won’t hate you if you don’t text them back right away.

23. Just suck it up and drink water. No one likes it, but it’s really amazing for your life.

24.  No one cares what you’re wearing. And if they do, you’ll likely never know it anyway.

25. Ask people how they’re doing. Even if you don’t care what their answer is, you will make their day, promise.

26. Your siblings are closer to you than anyone ever could be. Make sure you call them. Yeah, now.

27. Cool headphones do make you cooler.

28. Don’t let your laundry pile up. Messy things = messy mind. Keep it clean.

29. You can’t act like you know everything if you don’t know anything. Read and learn. We have the internet! No excuses.

30. No, you can’t live without coffee. Don’t try to.

31. GO TO THE DOCTOR. AND THE DENTIST. GEEZ.

32. If anyone ever says anything bad about your mom, it is absolutely okay to hit them. Hard.

33. Work smarter, not harder.

34. Being afraid to ask for help or directions takes up so much more time in your life.

35. Wearing a backpack doesn’t mean you’re unprofessional. It means you don’t take life too seriously and that’s how it should be.

36. Please visit another country.

37. When in doubt – you can’t go wrong buying someone Lotto tickets or scratch offs.

38. Don’t let your life be a bunch of dreams in the making.

39. Don’t take the road less traveled. Fly.

40. And finally. For now anyway. Love. Just freaking love everything that you love so much that you can’t even handle it sometimes. Let emotions burst out of your ears. Don’t let anyone ever doubt for a second that you love someone or something. Be bold. Be ridiculous. And in your face. And who cares?

Fine. One more

41. Don’t ever let anyone forget you. Make sure of it.

7 comments

  1. Down with most of these, but you’re showing your age with 14 and 18. I use to mock my friends that were always on diets. “Just exercise more, don’t limit yourself.” Then one day, Father Time kicks you in the shins and makes you his Bitch. Suddenly, all the running in the world won’t keep you fit if you eat like crap. Enjoy it while it lasts. Tiramisu and Creme Brulee will one day be your enemies.
    As for 18, I’m hoping that’s a tongue-in-cheek effort to be a poster child for Gen Y. If your parents got you through undergrad, their work is done. They might also be a little stressed trying to take care of their own parents. Sandwich Generation living sucks ass! So, here’s a better rule: Pay yourself first. Whatever you are making, put 10% away every month. Does it hurt? Hell yes! Is it fun? Hell, no! But sooner than you would think, you’ll have a nice chuck of change that will help you do something truly meaningful. Daily mochas are not meaningful, and they will soon be in the same category as Tiramisu and Creme Brulee.

    1. Love showing my age :) but yeah, 18 is mostly sarcastic. I was lucky to go to college for free.. My mom has been amazing to support my professional soccer career during a time where I don’t make much money. And I owe everything I have been able to experience to her. Somewhat sarcastic, somewhat just the reality of how the times have changed.
      Thanks for reading :)

      1. I should amend. There are times when mochas are meaningful: When sitting down to enjoy one with a good friend, or someone cute, or your mom. However, drive-thru mochas you consume alone are just a sad way to piss away money.

  2. “List of Ridiculousness | The Official Website of Tiffany Weimer” in fact got me personally addicted with your web-site!
    I reallywill certainly be back again much more often. Thank
    you -Felicitas

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