Take Time To Think For Yourself

Throughout my youth playing career,  I was superstitious and quirky, as my mom says.

People thought I was crazy to be outside training as much as I was, watching VHS tapes of old World Cups, jumping at any chance to guest play for teams. I was unable to comprehend why training was cancelled because of rain or why I couldn’t find more people to play with (this would be the story of my life apparently).

One of the stranger habits I can remember was actually after games. My family always wanted to go out to eat. They had just sat through what usually was a long drive, a warmup and a full game and so they were hungry.

I had just played, so naturally I should have been starving and as a wanna-be elite athlete, should have gotten food as soon as possible (not that we knew any of that back then really). Except, I had no interest in sitting at a restaurant and eating a meal. I begged to just go home. I would never win against a hungry family.

Instead, while they ate inside, I sat in the car by myself (the windows were cracked, don’t worry). 

No radio on. No cell phone. No book. Nothing. Silence.

I sat there alone.

This would occur whether we won or lost, whether I scored five goals or zero (which was rare).

I think back to that time often, especially now as I have processed my playing career over the past year or so. It’s hard to make complete sense as to why I would have done that except for the fact that maybe I wanted to fully process what had just occurred in the game, and I had to do that alone.

This was during a time when youth games weren’t filmed, clipped, analyzed and pushed all over the internet. I hardly ever saw the game back except the images I had in my head. I almost think I wanted to remember them as best as possible.  

Eventually, I would have to pee and was forced inside the restaurant.

“Oh, look who it is”

“Yeah, yeah” 

And I was pretty much fine after that. I ate. We talked about the game.

I have realized the power of that time alone. I wonder how often young players now take the time to sit and review a game in their head, to try to recall moments from it, to form an opinion of their own about it. Do they get that opportunity even?

As it is, players get a debrief from the coach, they talk the game over with their teammates and then add to that a possible in-depth analysis of the game from the parent’s point of view. How often do the players really have their own opinion of how they played? Of how the game went? Of how good the opponent was? Of the referee?  

Even if their own opinion only holds for a few minutes, at least they have thought something for them self. 

I believe this over abundance of opinions from others has led to a lot of young players holding onto opinions of themselves and the game that are not even theirs anymore.

Here’s my advice for players – take some time to think about training when it’s over. To think about the game on the car ride home. To think about what could have been better or what was done well. Just sit and think. Don’t let anyone else give their opinion right away.

If they’re really feeling motivated, they can write it down. Keep it. Then they can seek feedback from others.

A super power for athletes is to believe that they are good even when others do not, even when coaches don’t play them, even when they don’t get picked for teams. They have to see something in them self that makes them different or good in their own way. They need to look for those things inside, not from others. Hold onto them. 

Our opinions of ourselves are extremely important. And during a time when we are constantly able to hear and read other’s opinions, it gets difficult to remember how to think for ourselves and who we actually are.